you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
