so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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