That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
