Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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