just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
