if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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