I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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