would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
