fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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