Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
