I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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