woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
