In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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