angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
