Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
