6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
