rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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