What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
