the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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