I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
