Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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