Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
