She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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