i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
