maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
