these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
