whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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