I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
