6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No subtext here. People are naked.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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