I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
NoShamevember. You game?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
