You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's official drugs can't kill me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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