you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
