He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
