..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
