Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
