Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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