Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
