Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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