i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
