You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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