i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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