Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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