Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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