I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
