our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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