is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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