All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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