I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
