The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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