I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
