Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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