when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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