So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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