I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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