then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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