I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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